It's Over!!

He loved coffee. The smell of it. He loved her because she smelt of coffee.

On days like these when nothing seemed to be going right for him he used to sit beside the pool and stare at the starless sky of a city which has taken everything out of him and given him everything in return. He wondered if there is anything else that is so fulfilling yet excruciating at the same time like his job, like this city.

I love to spent time with you. He said...almost desperately.

No, you don’t. You don’t love the time spent with a person. You love the person with whom you love to spent time with.*

Stop being filmy...

Yeah...I am always at the fault...Isn’t it? Remember you used to like my being filmy...That’s what has drawn you to me…

The coffee suddenly turned bitter. He gulped another sip. He always thought that the coffee machine hates him unlike anyone else for it constantly supplies him such awful liquid. But it was quite effective in keeping him awake. He dreaded sleep. He slept with issues and code-bugs. The nightmares…a loop getting out of place, values not getting saved in the database, User Interface crumbling…and so on...followed by more trauma. His fear of these nightmares developed into a love for the coffee, because it kept him away from sleep. He has started loving it. He started walking back towards his desk. Each step felt so heavy; like it does every time he had a bitter fight with her.

Ok please, I know where this is leading to…let’s not…

Let’s not what…you think you are smart or something...let me tell you…

Shut up please…will you…

You can’t tell me to shut up…you jerk…who do you think you are?

Don’t get on my nerves…now please...Will you…

He felt at ease when he moved in these corridors. He felt protected behind these glass doors. They kept him away from the dark ugly world outside. The coffee tasted yuck!! As he moved around with coffee mug in his hand, he stopped. The glass door showed his reflection. He was young, pretty young by every standard. The reflection in the mirror defied it completely. He saw a pale figure, messed up hair, and weak, very weak…He could see failed dreams, false promises and miserable hopes. He had made a mess of himself. After this module, he thought, I’ll take better care of myself. For sure!. That never happened. There were always some deadlines to chase, modules to finish and issues to fix. He drifted in his thoughts. The silence was shattered by his stupid ringtone. “Onsite!@#$@!#$”.He muttered. He was on production support tonight. Final implementation was going on.

He felt his throat choking up. He swallowed his pride and gathered all his strength to utter a meek “hello”. The voice on the other end started mumbling some technical crap. He wasn’t listening. His mind was elsewhere.

No I won’t, you ll have to listen…you are no-gooder…what do you think you are… a stupid good-for-nothing software engineer. Just because you play around with technical stuff you think you are GOD? Is it? Freak, You are a DOG!!..

Yes, yes, I am a good for nothing creature and it was so benevolent of you to shower your divinity on me….happy…

Stop being sarcastic...

Ok...Ok…let’s stop it ...see I am sorry,I really am!.. it’s just that this project is so nerve-breaking that I forget everything and the pressure is ..is..too much to handle..you know it..dont you…

She had left the room with a deep sigh. Over the past few months, he came to understand what that means. It was somewhere between desperation and resignation. He knew he would sort this out, like he did every time.

…and yeah...the implementation was smooth. Thanks for your support. You can leave for the day..Oops night…bye take care. The call ended. The implementation part was over. Finally!! He was free, at least for the time being. The feeling took some time to sink in. He decided to call her up. Not reachable, gawd!!, this freaky cell..He started typing out an sms. What should I tell her…confused. He typed and deleted the message several times. Sleep was taking over him. He decided to keep it short and typed-

It’s over, it’s all over!!

Relieved, he stretched his arms and fell flat in front of the desktop. Tomorrow, he thought, things would change.

He didn’t know how long he had slept. Through the glass pane he could see bright sunshine outside. He yawned and jumped towards his phone. “One unread message”!! He couldn’t hold him anymore and opened it!! The message read- “Its easy 4 u 2 say its over. Fine. If dat’s wat u want, so b it!! It’s over. I won’t bug u ne more, I am going away..far away frm u. I am leavin u”

It took him some time to contemplate what had happened. He was shocked. He went numb and dumb. He stared at the monitor in despair. A new mail flashed in his inbox. He opened it. It read- Congrats on the completion of the module. You have been allocated to a new project…

He was not reading anymore. He collapsed!!...A new day has come…

PS: This story is loosely based on the lives of a few people that I have come across in and around my workplace. I think the general perception about being in IT field is that IT guys live a glossy lavish life. The grim realities behind the gloss can take heavy toll on certain aspects of daily lives. Crumbling relationships which in turn lead to more desperation are direct consequences of slogging long hours.

PPS: Not my story, though the settings are strikingly similar ;)

PPS: This style of story writing is borrowed from many such stories that I have read on blogs and other places. So, I don’t know if that’s plagiarism, but if you find any, all of it is unintentional.;)

*- Pyar waqt se nahi, us se kiya jata hai jiske sath hum waqt bitana chahte hai…translated verbatim from the movie salaam-e-ishq, one of my favorite lines, have seen it in action in real life too;)